Passionate Children's Servant: Did you know I was adopted?

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Did you know I was adopted?

As long as I can remember, I knew I was adopted. As a matter of fact, my mom told me she rocked me as an infant and told me; she said adoption made me special - BECAUSE I was adopted. I remember as I got older, her explanation included that unlike children who were NOT planned by their parents, not only was I planned, I was SOUGHT OUT!!!! I always believed her, why wouldn't I? She never lied to me. (I WAS special!)

I'm the second one from the left (the youngest)

After my parents passed away (in 1980 and 1981), I experienced a fleeting moment when I considered finding my natural mother. After obtaining my "non-identifying papers" and attending one support group meeting, I decided it might not be a good idea. Although I lost my REAL parents when I was young (and more immature than most girls my age), I was not ready to open myself to the unknown heartache possibly awaiting me. I learned at the support group you're never guaranteed a "happily ever after" ending; and I already had enough to deal with in this life (and to overcome).

On the other hand, my sister, Tammy, found her natural mother very shortly after we lost our parents. I was so grateful she made that decision (not immediately, but eventually), as she restored a loving relationship with her natural mother. Her mother played a vital role in her life and the lives of her two children (Christopher and Brian); especially after she unexpectedly passed away at the age of 36 from brain cancer. (It's true the good die young; she was a saint!)

Here it is 2013 (approximately 30 years later), and I made the decision to give it a shot. The laws in the state of Virginia have changed over the years and all that's required of me, the adoptee, is to ask social services to locate her. Of course, she will be given the option to say "No" if she would rather not "meet" me. But it's only fair she be the one to make that decision, to reopen a very private (and most likely secret) part of her life; or to allow the decision she made all those years ago to be her final one.

The motivation for my search is different now, too. As I consider the reality of abortion and how much easier it would have been for her to eliminate my existence; I NEED to thank her for giving me life! Her giving me life allowed ME to give life to three amazing children (Peter, Brooke and Kristina) and a PRECIOUS granddaughter (Harper). And, as a mother myself, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live your life not knowing what happened to your child. I NEED to tell her I had a wonderful life; I was loved beyond comprehension, and provided everything I ever needed (and wanted). I need to tell her, "THANK YOU. You made the right decision, to put me up for adoption." Anything beyond that (a possible friendship) would be icing on the cake.

From what I've been told at this point in the journey, the social worker was able to contact my natural mother (at least they believe she is my natural mother) and left a voice message asking her to return the call. Although I don't know what the voice message said, I was told it could take years for her to return the call (if she ever does). No matter what happens, I told the social worker my reasons for wanting to contact her and I pray she passes the information along, even if she isn't open to meeting me.

This is another one of those times in life where having faith provides MUCH comfort. I KNOW without a doubt, if He wants us to be reunited, we will be. If He doesn't, we won't. Either way, I am truly grateful for my many blessings!